I've got my red dress on, I am ready for the fluorescent lights. The vacations over, that is for sure and I'll just nest here, I'll just be alone now alone now alone now alone now. And I have got a room inside a house, with my own door and my own head space, and heart ache, and bed frame and its the same as the room that my best friend had when she lived here. We got off the phone a minute ago and I just miss her, I just miss her so much. There's subtle releases all of the time. There's pages and pages of insecure girls. And I have been waiting for twenty four years, its useless. I'll just walk through the river. Its pulling me down. Its giving me weight. Its carving the entry to the next fucking place. I'm clenching my jaw. I'm counting the stakes. I'm giving you nothing. The shots are all blank.